paleomedic.mee.nu

My time in the Army was short, all things considered. We've lived in this house longer than I served. My high school hitch was the same length of time. I've been driving the same car almost  twice as long as my time in the Army.

And yet it remains one of the truly defining elements of who I am. I'm haunted by dreams of reenlistment, of putting on the uniform once more, of finally getting a chance to do what I trained so hard to do.

I was the victim of serendipity. I was a combat medic and my duty station could have been anything from infantry to armor, to a sparkling clean hospital. I was placed in a Lance missile artillery unit in Aschaffenburg Germany. When Desert Shield/Desert Storm geared up, every unit in the 3rd Brigade of the 3rd Infantry Division deployed to Saudi Arabia, except my missile battalion. The DoD did not want a tactical nuke in theater. So, I pulled guard duty for the duration. My ETS was suspended, but I ended up staying only three or four weeks longer than the original date. And so, as I near the date that would have been my 20 year mark, I am instead a frustrated veteran watching the events of the world as a civilian. The war has been prominent in my mind, and my brother's two combat tours in Iraq only aggravated that. It galled me to be stuck here while he was over there. Bad enough to see all those Soldiers and Marines fighting so hard without me. Knowing my baby brother was ass deep in the sand killed me.

The good news is I can reenlist. The bad news is I rpomised my wife I would hold off until our sons graduated high school. And I agree totally with her reasoning. Teenage sons need their dad around. My father was often absent due to work, and it left permanent marks on my psyche. So I gladly wait until they are ready to leave the nest. But wait: more good news, it's less than two years away now, my younger son's graduation.

I know I might not make it back in. My knees are strong now, but additional running could ruin that. I'll be 43+. Right now the Army will accept someone my age, and older even, but who knows what the future holds for reenlistment standards. I hold no illusions that I'll be a paratrooper like my baby brother, kicking down doors with guys half my age. But I really want to fill a uniform, and serve again as a combat medic.

This desire to reenlist and potentially put my life in danger is something my civilian friends simply don't understand. While I've never served in combat, I have some experience with the amazing bond that forms among Soldiers. I had more close, truly close friends in the Army than I ever did before or after. Basic training is an experience both humbling and exalting. For the first time I allowed myself to depend on those around me, and I made damn sure not to let them down. Letting down a buddy was something that frightened the shit out of me.

These intagnibles are a huge part of why I eat, drink and breathe the military world despite being a civilian for nearly two decades.

Posted by: mikey at 09:37 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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